As a single mom juggling a full-time job, graduate school, and a passionate side hustle as a photographer, life often feels like a whirlwind of responsibilities. I navigate my days with strength, grit, and grace, but let’s be real—there are moments when the weight of it all feels overwhelming. Sometimes, despite my best efforts to remain grateful, I find myself feeling crabby and drained.
I have two ex-husbands, each leaving a trail of chaos that I’ve had to clean up. It’s as if they’ve moved on effortlessly, while I’m left scrambling to keep my head above water. It’s exhausting. Life can feel incredibly unfair, especially when most of my friends are worried about what model of car to get next, while I’m trying to figure out how to afford getting the brakes fixed on my 12-year-old, high-mileage vehicle.
On top of everything, my daughter just graduated from high school, which has added an entirely new level of emotions. Watching her reach this milestone fills me with immense pride, but also brings a whirlwind of feelings as I reflect on our journey and the challenges we’ve overcome. It’s punctuated with bit of sadness over the childhood that I had dreamed for her that did not become a reality.
But here’s the thing—I know I’m not alone in this struggle. There are so many moms out there, like me, single and married, who are doing their best to balance the demands of life, often without the support we truly need. We’re driven, resilient, and fiercely dedicated to our kids. Yet, it’s okay to acknowledge that sometimes, it’s just plain hard.
The Unseen Strength of Single Moms
We single moms are a special breed. We wake up early to pack lunches, attend school meetings, and work long hours. We find time to study after the kids are in bed, pursue our passions in the spare moments, and somehow manage to keep the household running. Our strength often goes unnoticed, but it’s there—in every late-night assignment we complete, every client we photograph, and every tear we wipe away from our children’s faces.
Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster
There are days when the frustration bubbles up. Days when I look at my friends’ lives and feel a pang of envy. Today has been one of those days. Their concerns seem so trivial compared to mine. It’s easy to slip into a mindset of resentment, but I remind myself that everyone has their own struggles, visible or not. Still, it doesn’t diminish the reality of my own challenges.
When gratitude feels like a stretch, I focus on small victories. Maybe it’s acing an exam, capturing a perfect shot, or simply surviving a tough day. These moments are reminders that, despite the chaos, I’m making progress.
Finding Balance and Self-Care
Self-care often feels like a luxury I can’t afford, but it’s crucial. Even if it’s just a quiet few moments before the kids wake up, or a stolen hour to read a book, these moments recharge me. They remind me that I’m not just a mom, a student, or an employee—I’m a person with needs and dreams.
The Challenge of Accepting Help
I’m incredibly fortunate to have an AMAZING boyfriend who often asks what he can do for me. But here’s the truth: even answering that question feels difficult. It’s not because there is nothing he can do, but because I’ve become so accustomed to doing everything on my own that it seems like everything and nothing are the right answers. His willingness to help is a blessing, yet articulating my needs after so long of handling things solo feels like navigating uncharted territory.
Reaching Out and Building a Support Network
Feeling isolated is common, but it doesn’t have to be our reality. Building a support network of other single moms or like-minded individuals can provide a sense of community. It’s hard to speak up and tell our stories… sometimes even feels shameful… but sharing our stories, our struggles, and our triumphs can be incredibly therapeutic. It’s a reminder that we’re not alone in this journey.
Embracing the Journey
Life as a single mom is a rollercoaster of emotions—frustration, joy, exhaustion, and pride. It’s okay to feel crabby, to wish for an easier path. But amidst the chaos, there’s beauty. It in our strength, our resilience, and our unwavering love for our children.
So to all the incredible moms out there feeling the weight of the world—know that your efforts are seen and valued. It’s okay to feel tired and crabby. It’s okay to crave a break. But remember, within you lies an unbreakable spirit, a testament to the endless love and dedication you pour into every day. We may not have chosen this path, but we walk it with grace and courage. And that, in itself, is something to be profoundly grateful for.
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